Pregnant

My husband and I are really excited about something that’s going on our lives right now.

We went out to have dinner with some friends the other day, and we told them that we had big news. Their first reaction was that emotional face with a big smile and then looking at me. “No, it’s not that, I said”.

Even after telling them our plans, they still would not believe it. “I’m sure you are pregnant”. Yes, I’m 27 years old and have been married for five years now. Why shouldn’t I be pregnant? That’s just the natural course of things. Sorry to disappoint you, folks.

Well, we went to Brazil, our home country, last month to visit our family. We also told them that we had big things coming up. Oh, my! We must have seen at least 100 different people. Not one of them wouldn’t look at my belly when we said “news”. No, I’m NOT pregnant.

What we have going on is pretty big. Pretty big. There wasn’t a single soul who would not envy us while we told our big news. But conversation goes…. “When is the baby coming, guys?”. No, WE are not pregnant. Why this sudden interest in seeing us having babies?

While I was at school, I really hated statistics. I’m really bad with numbers – any kind of number, no matter the context. But maybe statistics are shaping society’s expectations, because I can’t see any other correlation for people wanting me to have kids… Still, according to Statistics Canada “Pregnancy outcomes by age group”, I still have two more years, thank you.

Is that it, then? Because statistics show that the higher number of women who have children are between 25 and 29 years old – that’s why I should likely be pregnant now that I am 27?

Then this must be the answer. Statistics. Because truth is: nobody asks us about our professional lives. I finished school in April – April this year!!!! – it’s so recent and nobody asks, “now that you finished school, what are your plans?”. No! 100% of the questions are baby related.

“Still no babies, hum?”. What kind of a question is that? I just told you what I am planning for the next little while of my life… And you are asking me that. What is this huge pressure from society to have babies within a certain age? Or within a certain time of marriage? Or pressure for getting married, for Christ’s sake!

Some people that I don’t even know are asking “when is the fourth generation coming?”. Well, why don’t you go take care of your life? I tried looking up the rate of pregnant women by age in Brazil… But the first thing that shows up is “women are waiting til 30 to have babies”, followed by “what is the best age to have kids?”. Do you want to know the answer to that? It’s when the person is ready!

Now, statistics should not impose A truth. Statistics is NOT the truth. Yes, it is what happened before, but it does not necessarily illustrate the future or the present for that matter. Even if it did, statistics show that nearly 50% of women don’t even have babies, so why do a 100% of people ask me that?

If I could only bet on what people are gonna say when I tell them I can’t have babies… Statistics, people. Statistics.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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