I’ve been wanting to write this for a long time now… But the words would simply not come to me. I’m still not feeling it but decided to sit here to make you stop judging me for feeling tired. I’m not to blame if I just want if only for a second, to stop thinking. Making my brain stop sending me thoughts of what if this or what if that. I just wanted to feel nothing. I just wanted to stop thinking for a second.
Trying to get pregnant should not cause this feeling of failure or competition. I am not in a competition. And yet, many times, it feels like it. Stop telling me to relax or to take it easy. Stop telling me to focus my time on other things. Stop telling me that I sleep too much or that I am not devoted to any of my hobbies anymore.
Stop telling me what to feel.